Facing a Blank Page

I’ve explained that I don’t enjoy blank pages. I don’t like writing scenes from scratch.

When I write a scene poorly–just to get the first draft down on paper–I have trouble visualizing the next scene. I can’t just move on without doing some serious rewriting and editing. But at least, at that point, there’s something to work with. There’s clay to mold. It’s not just a blank, white canvas anymore.

I want to hire the world’s worst ghostwriter to write piss-poor scenes for me. I’d even settle for a monkey with a typewriter. That way, I can swoop in and fix the scenes. Blank pages suck, but I always feel motivated to edit. In fact, I love it!

I love brainstorming, and worldbuilding, and editing, and character creation, and outlining, and reading the finished product, and just about everything involved with writing … except getting started on a new scene.

When I do push myself through putting something down on the page, it eventually turns out better than I expected. Funny how that happens. Looking back at some of the scenes I’ve finished, I think, “How did I manage to pull it off so well?” I can even remember how poor the scene used to be, in the earliest drafts.

But it’s mentally exhausting, filling a blank page. And motivating myself to do it is a real challenge.

A famous composer had this to say about the creative process:

“I often thought, ‘Agh! I can’t do this anymore!’ followed by, ‘…No! I can do this! I must!’ and advanced little by little each day. Creating something out of nothing requires the most power. I haven’t done anything but composing, but I think the same thing could be applied to anything.“

– Yasunori mitsuda

Mitsuda was right. Even though he was talking about writing music, his quote encapsulates my struggle with just about any new scene.

They often don’t feel right, at first. I have to keep attacking new scenes from different angles. Maybe a different character POV, maybe a different starting point. Maybe start mid-conversation. Maybe more “in medias res”. Several rewrites later, I feel like I’ve got something I can be proud of.

There’s joy in discovering what’s next, finding out what works and what doesn’t, and getting those pieces to move in concert with one another adds to that joy. Getting a scene to synergize like that isn’t easy, and doing it over and over again until you’re through an entire story is one of the toughest, yet most rewarding tasks I’ve ever achieved.

I’ve seen the results. I know pushing myself works. Time and time again, I’ve been shown that starting is hands-down the best way to start getting done.

Even crapping out the worst scene ever somehow eventually becomes a good scene. And over time, I’ve gotten more skilled as a writer. New scenes takes less attempts to get right than they used to.

“The scariest moment is always just before you start.”

– Stephen King

You see that quote everywhere for a reason. It’s true for scenes, too. Sometimes, you just gotta dive in there.