Touching the Stove

I recently heard someone rant about how you can’t judge a work based on the creator no matter how awful they are, and that the work must be fully experienced and judged on its own merit.

He said dismissing a TV show, for example, because the showrunner is an awful person, or because the teaser is full of tells that loudly broadcast it will be undoubtedly awful, or based on how much you disliked the first few episodes, is “shallow”. He even went as far as to say anyone who thought that art can be dismissed before being fully (and I mean fully) experienced was just plain wrong and should “get f’d”.

So of course a television show came along that had all the telltale signs it was going to be an unmitigated disaster. During the lead-up, the writers and producers were saying terrible things that insulted their audience. (Par for the course, these days.) The trailer was full of tells that the story would be awful, if not outright non-existent, and that the creators were woefully misguided in their aims and vision.

So what did he do? He booted up Netflix, of course, and watched every episode in one sitting “out of principle”. Despite his instincts telling him otherwise, despite how bad each individual episode was, and despite others trying to warn him not to, he subjected himself to a lot of unnecessary and unneeded pain, and even paid for the privilege.

I believe that’s called masochism.

I have to admit, judging a work based on the creator and not by the merit of the work seemed like a shallow approach to me for many years, but you reach a certain age where you finally get over that pretension and realize if you keep touching the stove, you keep getting burned.

If a creator who has repeatedly slapped his audience in the face is suddenly shoulder-tapped to write a new Star Wars script, you can bet the lab rats will dutifully line up and press the button again, hoping that this time they’ll get a nice food reward instead of getting shocked.

But here’s the secret: They hardly ever get food anymore, and when they do it’s never satisfying. But sometimes they do get a nibble along with the shock, and they convince themselves that’s good enough.

masochism (noun):

• The deriving of pleasure from being humiliated or mistreated, either by another or by oneself.
• A willingness or tendency to subject oneself to unpleasant or trying experiences.

It goes farther. Many of these people hate us and say so in their interviews. They tweet about it all day. They’re not hiding it. They even spit in our faces in the stories they tell because they know they can get away with it and we’ve proven we tolerate it. To them, the good little lemmings never fail to line up. We’re like bowling pins who love resetting ourselves.

Now don’t get me wrong. People do deserve second chances. But they need to prove themselves and earn that second chance.

I’ve gotten burned enough times that I need to see evidence of a redemption arc. Otherwise they’re simply not getting my money.

How to Stop Touching the Stove

At some point, you have to learn to stop touching the stove, even if you don’t personally know the specifics of how much it hurt “this time”.

I had to learn to let go of the pretense that people who haven’t experienced something can’t form a valid opinion. Everyone is free to have and share their opinion, and invalidating someone’s opinion isn’t how opinions work. Opinions can’t be false. They can be debated, certainly, but I can’t think of anything more shallow than not engaging in that discussion and instead telling them to “get f’d”.

Even someone who has an opinion clearly south of the morality line should be engaged with because that’s how minds change. Debate and discussion help us rise above (and even raise) the morality line as a society… so long as truth guides the outcome.

It’s okay to walk away from a show after one episode. We only have so much time on this Earth, time we could spend being productive or interacting with our loved ones. We need to be both conscious and selective of the entertainment that enters our brain, at all levels.

But, the gentleman I was talking about got burned again and paid to do it, despite all his instincts telling him otherwise. And he did it out of principle. His opinion about art is valid, of course, and it was even an opinion shared by myself for many years. But my newly formed opinion is just as valid, and I’m not about to “get f’d” over it, thank you very much.

So, the problem with subjecting oneself to art created by terrible people is as follows:

• Funding: You are funding the creator, and therefore indirectly funding that creator’s interests and goals.
• The boiling frog effect: No one in the world is 100% immune to propaganda. It will wear you down over time and make you more accepting and complacent, and–worst of all–blind to all the damage it caused.
• Voting with your wallet: Supporting such works, even if you didn’t like them, sends a message that we want more.

You might even think you’re being careful, wearing oven mitts, but don’t be surprised when you find more than a few timeworn holes you didn’t know about.

This book is highly recommended.