Up until yesterday, I thought I had my priorities figured out. But sometimes, you’ve just got to work on your own stuff, take ownership of the time that’s been allotted to you.
There’s an entire chapter in Screwtape Letters devoted to how the Devil Himself can easily turn “time” into “My Time”, and turn that ownership into self-entitlement to lead you toward selfishness and evil. But something happened to me last night that made me realize I’ve gone too far in the opposite direction.
I tend to be far more proactive, motivated, and prolific while I’m doing things for others. For example, I’d never worked harder and been more ambitious at a job in my life until I had a family to take care of.
Lately, I’ve been helping my 7-year old create his very first video game RPG, I’ve been working hard on an art project for a friend of mine, I’ve been spending tireless hours a day learning everything I can about this emerging tech called “Stable Diffusion” (to help meet a December art deadline), I’ve been playing Elden Ring out of guilt because a friend of mine bought it for me on my birthday (after telling me it’s his favorite game ever and can’t wait to talk to me about it), and despite not liking pen and paper role-playing very much, I’ve learned everything I could about Vampire: The Masquerade in short order (in addition to trying to cram everything my forty-three year-old failing brain can hold about an ongoing elaborate multi-dimensional story that’s been carefully crafted and going on for over a year) just so I could join in, enjoy his storytelling, and hang out with several friends (some of which I hadn’t seen in many years).
But last night, I became increasingly convinced that it’s time for some Me Time. It’s time to dig back into my own writing, maybe create some artwork for myself and my own projects. Hell, why not blog here again? Twitter seems to be on the verge of returning to safer harbors as well, a place where real discussions can occur without too much algorithmic or cancel culture interference. So maybe I’ll make my debut there soon. I just hope all this Me Time doesn’t become a slippery slope. (And if my youngest ever reads this, don’t worry, I plan to continue our daily “RPG lessons” together.)
Upon this revelation, I polished off my latest manuscript and decided to share it with my wife, and, wouldn’t you know, she loved it. It seems this project has legs and is worth doing after all. It’s worth focusing on. I’ll share an excerpt in the coming days so you can judge for yourself.
Nick Enlowe 