This may sound strange, but I’ve felt unstoppable lately. A fire blazes in my heart. There’s this drive, this passion to create. And it’s not leaving me.
My skills, my art, what I have to offer the world has hit a certain level of mastery to where I feel it’s only a matter of time. It’s gotten to the point where people are going to start noticing what I’m up to sooner or later. I’m certain of it.
The above may sound prideful, but I’d argue it’s confidence finally taking the reins.
Recognition and money were never my goals. I’m still perfectly content creating because I want to create. But I’m not sure how much longer these tranquil moments will last. In the past months I’ve become driven to make a difference in this world, reintroduce what’s good and beautiful through the art of storytelling. I want to join the Newpub effort. I want to join the #IronAge.
So here we are in this moment of solace on my quaint free WordPress website, this tiny, unnoticed area of the internet I’ve managed to carve out for myself. These are the moments of before, a time where there’s no pressure to perform.
It’s that curious, quiet time. But it feels like 11:59. There’s a certain magic in the air. A whimsy only I can feel. (Maybe you can feel it, too.)
I can’t deny that today, I get very few visitors. No one’s interacting, and hardly anyone cares about my blog posts or my projects.
But I care. A lot. And I can’t stop producing works anymore. Ever since my revelation, my projects are actually getting completed. I’ve gone nuclear and am sitting on several works, some of which could get people excited if only I bothered publishing them. One wonders.
So I’m making moves to do just that. I’m setting the gears in motion.
If my first attempts don’t sell, that’s okay. It’s only a matter of time before I create something that breaks the mold. If there are early failures, so be it. I won’t let rejections demoralize me anymore. They won’t get in my way. I’m going to treat those as lessons learned and keep charging forward.
I started this blog right after graduating from university, trying to break through my wall, my awful case of writer’s block. In that time I’ve written about a lot of odd things I had to get out of my system and explored a lot of admittedly unorthodox techniques to get myself writing again, but it helped. (If you’re one of the 30 or so Email subscribers that stuck around through all that, thank you!) And I think I’ve finally succeeded – I’ve finally broken through the wall.
To point, sharing what I write isn’t embarrassing like it used to be. Nothing can stop me from completing my works now, and I’m doing a decent job at it. Decent enough to sell. Good enough to publish. At least, I think so. If not, I’ll be there shortly.
As I try and launch myself, I might end up exploding a few times like a prototype SpaceX rocket, but one of these days, since I don’t plan on giving up, I’m sure I’ll breach the stratosphere.
Nick Enlowe 