No Males Allowed

Finding a good writing group since about 2015 has been a struggle. I’ve had my fair share of ups and downs.

Like there was the time a drum corp decided to have a practice–indoors–in a library, during my weekly writing group meetups.

And then there was the time I was practically begging for an honest writing group that’s not fueled by profiteering and course salesmanship, only for someone to respond with an invite to a writing group that’s paywalled.

Huge “didn’t read the article” facepalm, there, but it only helped prove my point. She must’ve later realized her faux pas; the comment is now deleted.

A lot of these folks wear their salesman hats all the time because their writing courses and memberships ARE their bestsellers. And their prey? Struggling authors looking for a shoulder to lean on.

But it’s only gotten harder in recent years.

My latest scheme was to simply reach out to other writers via Substack’s group chat, and it worked! I’ve now got a tidy sum of passionate writers bouncing ideas and critiques off each other organically in our little corner of the internet, and so far it’s wonderful.

Oh, and we all happen to be male.

This wasn’t on purpose; Males happened to be who showed up and showed interest, and females did not. Had females also shown an interest, they’d have been just as welcome to join the group.

But feminists are wired to make assumptions on how groups were formed based on the end result.

Passion and interest have always been at the heart of any good writing group I’ve ever led or belonged to – Not demographic make-up.

So long as you have a passion for writing and a willingness to participate, there’s always a seat for you.

And contrary to popular Modernist beliefs, that’s the way it’s been in writing for at least the past century. Or at least it used to be.

MY SIN

In 2015, I got my first taste of sexist gatekeeping in a Discord group. Up to that point, I’d joined various online writing groups and communities, and had always been a willing participant in good standing. I never caused trouble for anyone, except for perhaps a few unable to handle an honest critique.

Well, I was quite enjoying this writing group – It was large and incredibly active. A few months’ participation was all it took for me to see my productivity skyrocket. I was feeling inspired daily and got to meet lots of writers whom I felt were very skilled, people I could count on and bounce ideas off of.

Then one day, there was a girl complaining about how easy it is for men to get published in fiction magazines versus women.

Now, not only was I subscribed to quite a few short story publications back then, but I’d also tried submitting works to publications myself, only to always get rejections. I flipped through those magazines and, it wasn’t my imagination–almost every story published had either a female or sex-ambiguous penname.

I’d also experienced the phenomenon where women tended to get more help than men in writing groups. Back in 2008, I joined Holly Lisle’s writing community–and it wasn’t her fault–but I did notice that when females needed help, the people in her community would give it right away, whereas men’s requests often went ignored for lengthy periods of time, if not, indefinitely.

I was too naive to understand why, back then.

But I brought up none of these points. The only thing I said in the Discord chat in response was, “Oh, that’s not been my experience.”

Boom. Within 30 seconds, every single Discord channel within that group went dark and was locked out. The only channel left I could access was a Moderation channel created specifically for me.

MY TRIAL

I found myself in a chatroom filled with an angry council of female mods, all claiming I’d been “dismissive” of the girl’s opinion, and that they would not unlock the channels unless I made a public apology.

I tried to explain I was simply interested in an honest discussion. I never meant to insinuate that my comment was the “end of discussion” like they were trying to suggest. (And, let’s be honest, misconstruing my intent that way was a stretch, at best.)

I explained I was always willing to hear her side of things, and share mine.

Oh, how naive I was. They were livid I dared explain myself at all.

My explanation didn’t fit their worldview so I was automatically wrong. They wanted me to essentially admit I was inherently sexist and part of the problem, simply by virtue of me being male.

If I’d agreed to the public apology in #general chat, I would have been indirectly admitting their accusations were true.

But if what this girl had said were also true, if being a white male were such a superpower, shouldn’t it have been easy for me to get published, even with an unpolished manuscript? Shouldn’t things in life have come easy for me? Shouldn’t I have been wealthy and not been living paycheck-to-paycheck? Shouldn’t I have never gotten pulled over, harassed, and ticketed by the cops? Shouldn’t I have never been homeless?

I wasn’t yet aware the Western World was entering a new stage of history – a stage where discussion and debate were no longer tolerated. I wasn’t aware the public square was dead, and that bad seeds had been infiltrating the writing world since 1972.

2015 seemed to be their mask-off moment. The goal was never to be inclusive, it was to be exclusive. The people behind these changes hate us. They always have.

I hadn’t done anything wrong, of course. So instead of agreeing to a public apology, I private messaged the several friends I’d made within the group and informed them with a heavy heart I’d been unfairly dismissed, and that they could continue to reach out to me via pm.

Sadly, our relationships kindled out over time. (But if one of you should happen to read this, reach out via Discord – I’m still around!)

PROJECTION

The irony was that my opinion was the one being dismissed.

They were projecting their own sins onto me. That’s how the Father of Lies works:

“Accuse others of what you yourself are guilty of.”

By doing this, not only are they lying, but they’re sowing chaos by deflecting blame onto the innocent.

Projection is the most insidious kind of lie there is.

There used to be a place at the table for everyone who had a passion to write. Now, most of the tables are looking for very particular checkboxes.

One of the stupidest writing panels I ever attended was at GenCon 2023. There was this “Afro-Futurist” there, and he spoke about what he felt was the future of Sword & Sorcery.

He claimed we were facing this exciting new future where young black talent was going to be writing the most exciting next-gen S&S, and that the genre’s future would be Afro-centric.

(Back in 2023, Black Panther was still very popular.)

But I looked around at the 35+ people in the panel, all paying close attention to this gentleman and taking diligent notes.

They were all white. Every single one of them.

Now, I appreciate his passion, but if this future he’s talking about is so soon upon us, then why wouldn’t even a few young black aspiring S&S authors in the Indianapolis area—or abroad—be interested in attending this writing panel?

…Let alone any of the other writing panels? If this “exciting future” is coming, where’s the passion from the black youth?

And before some of you try and claim they can’t afford it, first of all, wrong. If you’re passionate about something, you make it happen. Second, don’t assume a person’s wealth by their skin color. Third, Gen Con has programs specifically designed to get minorities free admission, free airfare, and free tickets to these events.

It’s no secret – It’s advertised everywhere at the con, especially at the Writer’s Track.

And yes, I’m being dismissive of your opinion.

The fact that almost none of them took up Gen Con‘s offer spoke volumes to me.

There’s always a place at the table for those who have enough passion to show up. But if the wrong people show up, they get largely ignored.

It seems there’s not very much publishing space for the people who actually care.

And the exclusive space we find ourselves in today has been created for all the opposite reasons feminists and racists accused the legacy publishing industry of in the first place – They projected. The result? A publishing hellscape built on the tenants of sexism and racism, masquerading like it’s not.

My writing group invitation was for anyone who cared to join, and the ones with real passion showed up and got the seats.

As to why certain demographics didn’t show, consider that it might be not be due to gatekeeping, racism, or sexism, but due to deeper subculture problems that … perhaps need to be solved internally … perhaps by not encouraging entitlement and victimhood mentality.