Figuring Out What Works: The Conclusion (What I Should Be Doing as a Writer on a Daily Basis)

Following my analysis, I’ve drawn some solid conclusions and identified two key problems areas I must solve. I’ve also identified a few methods that seem to be the most important to my success.

Key Problem – The Safety Net: My Struggle with Procrastination

Join me on a psychological dive as I ask myself: Why do I procrastinate in the first place?

I know I want to finish writing a novel, and I know I want it badly. After all, it’s something that bothers me all the time. But do I really want it badly enough? Clearly not, right? Otherwise I’d have completed a novel years ago. At least a crappy one. But I still feel like my desire to complete a novel is greater than some folks who have written many books and routinely continue to write out of habit. Maybe I’m wrong, but it’s like my heart burns with the kind of desire and excitement a promising up-and-comer might feel.

I know for sure I don’t procrastinate out of fear of failure or fear of success. But it’s almost like … success doesn’t feel real to me. I define success as completing a novel. Not receiving accolades, or being a bestseller, etc. And even though I’ve set the bar low with this definition, the bar still feels awfully high because I don’t want to settle for “good enough”. It just wouldn’t feel right if I released a novel that didn’t represent my best efforts. I tend to be a perfectionist, and I often let perfect be the enemy of good. That’s definitely part of my problem, even though I should know better by now.

I’m at a crossroads many have faced, but it’s impossible for me to grasp how long and difficult this journey will be, and impossible to visualize myself at the destination. There’s obviously a psychological battle going on in my head to the point where a Herculean effort is often required just to take one more step on my journey toward completing my novel, and I’m not quite sure why.

I have hard evidence that the smaller the hill is, the better chance I have. I tend to complete short stories, but 20k words is a tough climb for me, let alone 70k+.

First of all, I simply can’t let guilt and frustration build up inside of me to the point of bursting. And forcing myself to write from time to time just to alleviate this guilt is a losing formula. This is the main reason I’ve been such a slow writer over the years, and it’s even worse than the famous “waiting for inspiration to strike” method, another proven way to fail as a writer, or as any kind of artist.

Next, I need to steel myself against fluff distractions as often as possible. As I grow older (and more jaded), this is getting easier to do. But I must also continue to minimize or outright quit the pastimes that still show up in my daily life, especially since I feel most of them are less important than completing my novel.

If I somehow manage to stay productive, I’m more pleasant to be around and feel pretty good about life in general. If I procrastinate, I tend to get cranky. So it’s in my best interest to work on one of my manuscripts each and every day. I also can’t let “How To” tutorials be an excuse to procrastinate anymore. My book has been delayed long enough, and actively writing everyday is now the best path forward for my continued learning. I concede it’s very possible I should’ve gone with that strategy from the start to avoid the bad habits I seem to have developed.

I don’t have the time or the energy to debate about whether books, video games, and movies (etc.) are good or bad with randos on the Internet anymore. I need to use that time, mental energy, and frustration, and channel it into my work, otherwise it becomes another form of distraction.

Before a writing session begins, I also need to spend less time pre-writing. But if I’m that far along, I’m likely already winning the battle against procrastination in the first place.

Another key ingredient is silence (a refusal to tell others about what I’m going to write). But that’s a post for another day.

Some of these trends are going to be tough ones to break. My brain has accepted a pattern of bad behavior, and I have to be stubborn enough to train myself into being productive with writing, just like I was as a college student with homework. My stubbornness is both an advantage and disadvantage, because I can tell you right now that my brain won’t easily cooperate with my efforts. But if I can “break myself in”, maybe I’ll be just as stubborn about quitting as I was about being trained.

The good news is, I do find myself with more extra time on my hands than I ever have in the past. My children are getting older and more self-sufficient, and finishing up my degree along with minimizing everyday distractions has left me with much more time to be productive. I just need to somehow “shock therapy” myself into actually sitting down to write during these free periods of time.

Finally, I need to break my perfectionist tendencies and encourage myself to take steps forward more often, even if I’m destined to never finish my journey.

The Other Key Problem – Walking the Tightrope: How to Keep Myself Writing

I’m lucky in that I’ve managed to achieve what’s known as a “flow state” in the past. Just a few times. Not every writer is able to experience this phenomenon. I’ve learned that impending school semesters (no longer a problem), emotional turmoil within my family, losing my hard work (data loss), or long vacations can all break a flow state. They also prevent me from developing the habit of writing on a daily basis.

Once I stop writing, I tend to fall right back into the first key problem area: procrastination. When I’m writing, I feel like I’m walking a tightrope. When I’m not writing, I’m resting in the safety net of procrastination, letting guilt and frustration build up inside me all over again. I need to figure out a way to stay on the tightrope, and do it so well that I can work without a safety net.

Every time I’m walking the tightrope, I always ask myself if this is the time that I’ll finally keep writing. I find myself wondering if this will be the one to finally lead me to the end of my novel. It’s a lot like looking down while climbing. It’s not a good idea to do before I’m a seasoned climber, just as it’s not healthy to ask questions of self-doubt while walking the tightrope.

I don’t know exactly how to trigger a flow state, but I know that flow states happen when I’m up there on the tightrope, and that they definitely don’t happen when I’m using the safety net as a hammock.

Since I have a tendency to complete short stories, but have trouble with novel-sized works, it just makes sense to keep working in small, manageable components. I know how to measure the effort it takes to write a scene, how to plan it, and how to get it done. If I can focus on that, it helps me forget about the tall peak looming far above me. I hope that, one day, I dare look up and see nothing but sun and sky, then realize that the summit has somehow snuck up on me.

This is similar to writing without worrying about wordcounts and other arbitrary goals, which also helps me ignore the long climb ahead. While I’m always thinking about the overall story arcs, I prefer to get my head deep in the moment. The characters don’t know they’re in a story, and they’re chiefly concerned with what’s going on at that very moment in the scene, right along with me.

It’s high time I stuffed my smartphone full of audiobooks and carried around a pair of headphones. And I especially need to listen during one of my actual writing sessions. Like I said, this could be a game-changer for me. I’m not sure if it will keep me on the tightrope, but it stands a good chance of making my writing sessions more productive.

Getting stuck while writing a scene is basically me clinging onto the rope with my bare hands, desperate to climb back up and regain my balance. If I don’t break the scene into smaller components immediately, I’m doing myself a disservice. And, if that fails and I don’t mow the lawn or hop in the shower while thinking about the problem, I could very well lose my grip and fall back into the safety net.

Setting the goal of writing one word a day, even while on vacation and even on the Worst Day Ever, should help me stay on the tightrope. So would getting involved in a crit circle or crit exchange, finding a writing group, or figuring out new ways to gamify my writing.

Blogging everyday has gotten me in the habit of sitting down to write every day. Even though this is non-fiction, I believe that keeping this up is going to be good for me as a writer in the long run.

I also need to trick my brain by giving myself two or more reasons to finish a manuscript, or figure out how to have someone reward me with a carrot. That last one is key, because a hard deadline and a dangling carrot has given me the best results and largest manuscript I’ve completed to date.

Unfortunately at this point, I still don’t know what that carrot needs to be, or who should be my proctor.

Conclusion

And there you have it. Or rather, there I have it. I now have a better idea of what I should be doing. I must use these methods as a guide to stay on the tightrope for as long as possible, and figure out ways to bounce out of the safety net without relying on the buildup of guilt and frustration.

P.S.> Thanks for being patient with me as I worked through a series of Very Long Lists.